Good Morning Vietnam!

I have a confession.

I like hand dryers. In fact, I'm slightly obsessed by them. I have taken photos of about a hundred (ninety-six to be precise), not because they are cool - but because I was determined to write a book and had nothing to write about, so I thought hand dryers might've been an interesting topic. Don't judge me. The reason I mention it is because I had the opportunity to see a lot whilst in Ho Chi Minh City - not out of choice, but because I spent rather a lot of time in the loo during my three days there. Not fun.

Toilets aren't all I saw in Ho Chi Minh, though. We'd decided that a relaxing way to spend our first day would be do a cycling tour of the city. The city, still called Saigon by many of the locals, is full of interesting people and places - for example, our guides for the trip were three locals who must have been in their late seventies. Although we weren't feeling great, it was hard not to feel guilty as three small men, old enough to be our grandparents, cycled us around on the front of their bikes! Having said that, my driver - clearly enjoyed the fear on my face as he rode through red lights into oncoming traffic. 

At first it appeared that the tour would only take in the local Starbucks and KFCs, but our first stop was the War Remnants Museum. We took a few minutes to wander around the vast array of American military vehicles outside the museum, which varied from a tank to my personal favourite, the iconic Huey helicopter.

During the next few hours we wound our way through Saigon's bustling streets, visiting iconic sites like the Reunification Palace, the beautiful old post office and Notre Dame Cathedral. The trip gave us a little insight into the history of the city - its French colonial past and, more recently, its role in the American war - but, as our pension-aged guides steered us between the gleaming skyscrapers and beautiful parks, we realised that there was a lot more to Ho Chi Minh City than we'd thought at first. 

My new best friend, Imodium, helped me to enjoy (rather than just endure) a few trips during our stay. The first of which was to the Mekong delta. Having spent a couple of days floating serenely down the mighty river in Laos, we thought it would be a good idea to go and take a look at the place it met the ocean.

In truth, the day was a little odd. We had a very enthusiastic guide, however, he was about twenty minutes into his talk before I realised he was speaking English! To be fair to him, he wasn't helped by the coach's old PA system, which echoed through the bus and made it sound as though we were taking part in some soviet communist rally. It was like a sketch from the Fast Show, every now and again we would catch a word I thought I knew - pineapple, coconut, island - but the rest we would have to make up ourselves. Still, much better than our Vietnamese.

The Mekong delta stretches along the coast southwest of Ho Chi Minh City. Its fertile green landscape and myriad of waterways has become known as the 'rice bowl of Vietnam'. We spent the day visiting just a few of the millions of people who call this region home. They owned a variety of businesses, from men who looked after floating fish farms, to a group of women who made coconut sweets. Nick endeavoured to keep the latter in business by buying half their stock.

Our next morning, took us an hour or so northeast, where we visited the incredible tunnels in Cu Chi. They aren't called 'the incredible tunnels of Cu Chi', I've just called them that because that's what they are. Although many were destroyed by bombs dropped by B-52 planes, this system of rabbit warren-like tunnels once stretched two hundred miles to the Cambodian border and played a key role in helping the communist troops defeat the American 'insurgents'.

When we were younger, Steve and I used to enjoy playing amongst the hay bales, creating dens. But even with our tunneling prowess, we had to bow down to the ingenuity of the local people who had created a three tiered system of tunnels, with entrances almost invisible to the naked eye and a bottom level as deep as ten metres.

In places we were able to climb into tunnels that had been widened especially for western tourists! It was a great experience, clambering through two hundred metres of darkness, although it did come at a price. Steve's phone didn't much like being dropped on the floor of the tunnel and showed its disapproval my shattering its screen it to lots of little bits. A little inconsiderate of them not to fit soft carpets in these tunnels. Steve showed far more restraint than I would've in his position and, instead, vented any frustration he was feeling by firing an M-16 at some targets in the shooting range. After we'd all had a go being boys and firing guns, we hopped back on the bus back to the city.

We wandered around the market and then, despite my stomach still voicing its concerns, I endeavoured to eat something solid for the first time in a while before we got on the train bound northward.

Apparently, there are more than seven million motorcycles in Ho Chi Minh. Despite this making it extremely hard to cross any roads, we loved how vibrant the city formally known as Saigon felt. Even though the humidity and my tummy bug had made it a bit of an endurance exercise at times, I could honestly say that it had become my favourite of the cities we had visited so far. I was looking forward to what else Vietnam had to offer.